Oh The Challenges Of Improv at the UCB

Improv, specifically long form improv, is so freakin’ difficult!!! For me, anyway.

I’ve been taking classes at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre for the past year. And each class higher doesn’t get a little more challenging…. its like the difficulty level goes from A to Z with no alphabet in between! In my last class in particular, we were introduced to a lot of specific new rules and taught more advanced scenic structure. And then without fully understanding everything, we are told to jump in the scene and clear our heads and not think! So I do that. The problem is I clear my head but instead of a brilliant idea popping up to introduce to my scene partner, my mind stays blank to the point of having difficulty forming sentences. And I’m struggling for words and suddenly my vocabulary is about as extensive as a third grader.  So I spend a lot of time glued against the back wall.

And I’m glued to this back wall with my arms crossed and struggling to pay attention to my classmates performing their scenes because I’m too busy telling myself how everyone is better than me and how I suck and I’m a little embarrassed to be there.

Now I’m also a bit embarrassed to admit this to you guys but I figure everyone can relate to some extent.

So I ask myself, why do I continue to do it?

Its not like I’m passionate about improv like some people are. Sure I definitely enjoy it when I’m able to commit myself to a scene, feeling fully present in the moment and making snappy and witty choices that move the story along in an interesting way.  But for the time being its like I'm stuck in a rut and its taking my self confidence and burying it under the ground. 

So I’m thinking about why I’m determined to not give up.  Is it because my favorite shows on tv are sitcoms like 30 Rock, The Office and Modern Family? Is it because I have people in my classes and at UCB in general that are currently on these sitcoms or working on other tv shows and theatre productions sometimes because they are associated with UCB? Could it be because I find improvisation a fascinating and beautiful form created and structured from nothing but a single idea ? Or because comedy is what I love the most and if being involved with a community of improvisers is going to make me a better actor then so be it?

Yes all of the above. But maybe the number one reason I’m determined to stick with it is because it’s a challenge.   If I can get over this pile of self doubt and introvertness I tend to slide back into every so often, how freeing would that be? And then I could be one of those people on stage I admire and who make improv look way too easy.  

And here is my most recent, extremely talented class backstage after our performance:

 

Its the B12 Vitamins. I Swear!

My January ROCKED! 

While I was in LA I asked a friend of mine what his NewYears Resolution was. 

"I don't have a resolution. I have a Theme..." he says in an endearingly superior and meticulous way. 

and that is...

"Focus and Breathe in the New Energy."

So imagine how shallow I felt when I had just told him my resolution was to get 5 Million Dollars.  I'm not sure what my back up plan would be if this isn't the year my fantastic self gets discovered. Rob a bank? Marry a rich douche bag?) I'm just thankful he didn't say something like, "Reach out to others more and make the world a better place."

So ultimately I'm stealing his theme for my own good. 

And I am feeling fantastic, grounded and balanced and more consistently focused than, well, ever. And whether its this profound New Years Theme which is infiltrating my new energy, or my trip to LA or my recent advisement to overdose on B12 Vitamin supplements (which is most likely the case. Seriously. Its like being on a stimulant medication or two cups of coffee without the jitters. If any of you feel like you are going A.D.D. crazy take them!)

 Or maybe its my 30 day eating habits consisting of no cheese, alcohol, bread, sugar, dairy, processed foods, or fruit. Don't be jealous!! Ok its not too bad. You know, I like rice. I eat a lot of almonds. And Thai food.  I'm getting really, really sick of having eggs or plain oatmeal in the morning. I'm not going to lie. And I cheat a lot. I just can't give up chocolate. Hey, you know, its that time of month, my body isn't getting what it really needs so I have to make sacrifices... ladies you understand. 

Ok. Anyway. Seeing as this is NOT a blog about medical advisement or natural path remedies, I will now talk about something more profound like... MY HAIR.

So here I am at yet another show with L'Oreal- a local show in New York. And here is my stylist Kristjan, who I also worked with in San Fransicso and Seattle .  

  

And then, remember that fight video I did way back when? Well, I got back together with Andrew Dasz to shoot some still photos with lifestyle photographer Jeremy Harris . Here are my two favorite shots:

The rest of the month I have been fortunate to be going on about two castings a day on average. I was feeling good about this until the other day when I went on one high end casting and all the models who looked about 17 years old were talking about how they went on 10-15 castings that day. (And the jealously and insecurity rises....) But WHATEVER. I've booked a few things for the upcoming Fashion Week and hopefully more in the next several days.   

And as far as acting goes, I got contacted from a producer I did a three week casting director workshop with 2 years ago while I was still living in LA (So these things do work sometimes!) So it looks as if I may be getting to audition for an action film. 

And I started class at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre. Yay!! Gonna get my funny on... 

I've had too much coffee today. I think it may be kind of obvious in my written words.... Anyway. B12 supplements. Take them.