I had the most amazing time in China. And maybe I'll write about my trip more later... or maybe I won't. But you know when you finally feel as though everything is falling into place? As if "that thing" you've been wanting or wanting to do... you know, the "thing" you sometimes can't figure out, and "it" makes you anxious and you keep searching for "it" and you work to find "it" and then suddenly you do"it" and you don't question "it" anymore?
(I apologize for this rumble jumble mess. I'm too lazy to put my thoughts into concrete sentences that actually make logical sense) But I hope you do understand....
Well, for those two months in China, I was doing "that thing." The "thing" that settled my "it." (Okay I promise I'll seriously stop....) In plain terms, I finally got to do the work that I love, while traveling and experiencing culture shock and forming wonderful friendships with amazing people all around the world.
I had been thinking of all the possible countries I wanted to go to in November. You know, a market fitting for me and where its not too cold and perhaps with no snow... good idea, right? I met some agents and bookers and one in particular who offered to help place me somewhere with a 3-6 month contract. All was good and going as planned and my spirit was high.
And then I returned from my altered reality to my home in NYC, and to the one I missed the most... my kitty!
And here she is helping me blog. (Or rather wondering what on earth would possess me to pay more attention to a computer than to her pretty little face)
And yet I returned to a kitty who suddenly was throwing up at least twice a day. And after two weeks or so of praying that it was nothing, just the stress of me being gone, I took her to the vet where I was informed she has mast cell tumors aggressively destroying her body.
And so now my kitty who I love, (and my God do I love her dearly... in a really annoying "I talk about my cat and to my cat and sing pop songs to my cat constantly" kind of way), who I thought I would have for at least another 8 years or so, now only has less than a year or perhaps less than 6 months to live.
And so my plans have changed.
I am disheartened because of the obvious, and also the worry of me aging out of the modeling industry before I fully get what I want from it is always in the back of my mind. Its like I got a taste of what I finally wanted and now I can't pursue it. And yes, I know there's no stopping me from traveling again once my cat is gone... but that thought right now just makes me so sad.
And so what have my plans changed to?
Well I still say... screw the snow and the 14 degrees (feels like 8 degrees with wind chill I need more Vitamin D and I don't want to leave my apartment ever and wearing all these layers is so freaking annoying) kind of weather.
Kitty and I are coming home to California!!
I'm not particularly happy about it, but it will be a nice change to be home for a little while. And if any of you by chance have a place where kitty and I can rent for a few months in LA please let me know....
And just an update, kitty is getting both conventional and holistic treatment and throwing up has stopped and she is as active and affectionate as ever. I know things can change suddenly overnight, and most likely will, but for now all is good.
Have any of you ever had to change your plans and it worked out for the better? Please tell. I'm hoping that will be the case!